Parenthood for Dummies
Being a father is a wild ride. My name is Christopher & these are my observations, theories & comments on life as the dad of my two boys Ripley & Jayden. I write this to air my thoughts & update my friends & family with photos, videos and such like. For everyone else I offer hints and tips on parenting as I learn them. For legal reasons I make no direct reference to my employer or any of my colleagues.
10 Most Recent Images
on with the show...
most recent posts appear first in the list, then proceeding back in time, check "archives" section on left-hand sidebar for earlier posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Ripley dancing to the wannadies - you and me song
Monday, February 12, 2007
Video_: Ripley at 2 yrs 3 mths calls Grandad - take 2
Video_: Ripley at 2 yrs 3 mths calls Grandad - take 1
Video_: Jayden at 3 Months - Mummy making him laugh
Video_: Jayden at 3 Months - happy
Video_: Jayden 3 Months Old and very Upset
Monday, September 11, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Video_: Happy Birthday Louise Grassby
Louise is my sister-in-law and it is her birthday today!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Video_: Penny is Pregnant
Yep - it's true - I am happier than I look :D
Friday, August 25, 2006
Video_: Penny is Pregnant
Well - I haven't mentioned it before - but Penny is pregnant and although I don't look it - I am VERY VERY happy :)
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Video_: Ripley eating tomatos and playing with his puzzles
Yep - title says it all
Friday, August 18, 2006
Video_: Passed my exam + Llama incident
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Video_: The dodgy kitchen and Ripley in the garden
Ripley loves his herbie & eating blackberries. This is what is going on with our house so far.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Video_: Ripley showing the signing before he forgets it
I get camera shy - I guess I will get used to it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Video_: Ripley and Me - First Video Blog Entry
Well - a picture tells a thousand words, but you can't get Ripley to say anything on a video :)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Video_: My God, I'm My Dad!
|In line with my last blog entry - someone did a TV show about it. So called "celebrities" of which I only recognise Vic Reeves, talk about being a father and how things change - rather amusing - but it was on channel 5 - so nobody watched it.|
Friday, July 07, 2006
Video_: Ripley's Fav Google Video
|He loves this video and demands to watch it every morning|
Friday, April 21, 2006
Misc_: Ripley loves Pingu
Ripley is in love with Pingu the animated claymation Penguin. He watches no Television with the only exception being Pingu (and when I am playing a Ps2 game with racing cars in it). I understand that the above video courtesy of Google Video has been subtitled with an extremely rude translation of "pingu-speak" - it is in Swedish - so if you are Swedish look away now.. otherwise enjoy the episode
Friday, April 14, 2006
Diary_: 17 Months - New Things and Old Things
Over the past couple of days Ripley has developed a few favourite things and a few fears. He is deathly afraid of a small wobble executive toy that looks a little like a sea anemone, he is also VERY scared of the new shower we have just had installed in the process of getting a new bathroom in. I guess the shower looks a little too much like a snake and some form of primal instinct has kicked in from our times in the caves. As for favourite things, he really enjoys a good draw with the pastels we have, he does one drawing a day and we have kept them in chronological order, over the past couple of weeks the drawings have got more and more yellow. Now they are all yellow. I can safely say his favourite colour is yellow :)
I found this old video and uploaded it (mainly to freak out my long time friend Jason Birt as he will now have internet presence when you type his name on google video :) That'll freak him out. Anyway, it was taken MANY years ago, and I look bloody thin and bloody young, it was back in the days when I could afford sports cars, now I can't afford a paved driveway to park one on. Anyway - Ripley is better than all that material crap. Anyway - on with the video show...
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Misc_: Laughing Baby Video
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Misc_: Ripley vs Stewie
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Video_: Another washing machine obsessed baby
Saturday, January 21, 2006
My Favourite Blogs
Here is my up-to-date list of the best blogs on the internet.
Google Video of the Day - Concept Car Gallery - Optical Illusions - Witty Quotes - Claymation - Bandwagon Capitalism - Best Standup Comedian One-Liner Jokes
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Diary_: Minimoto Death Trap
We were walking in town the other day when I saw a group of perhaps 12-13 year old boys with caps and tracksuits (chavs as we call them here). Nothing unusual there. But they were all stooped over pushing miniture motorcycles. It appears that this years credit card maxing must have toy were these miniture motorbikes. I am really shocked. I don't claim to be the best parent in the world but I know that I would NOT let my son have anything so outrageously dangerous. I am amazed that parents can be so utterly stupid as to give these motorbikes to CHILDREN!
For those who don't know, minimotos are perfect proportioned 2 stroke replicas of sports bikes (see pic opposite) which are capable of going 40MPH and over!!! They are illegal on public roads and should only be used on tarmac. Which makes you wonder where these boys were going with them?
My prediction for the new year is a grim one. Deaths will increase as a result of this stupid craze and stupider parents for giving in to it. I mean, seriously, if you wanted to give your children something illegal and deadly then why stop at a minimoto, why not a gun, anaconda snake, TNT, flick knife. STUPID!
Don't buy one, just watch this onboard video below, saves any nasty case of death.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tired but Smiling
Thursday, November 25, 2004
The "Things They Don't Tell You" List
Here are a list of things I have come across that people really should have warned us about. I will update this list whenever we notice something that we really didn't see coming:
1) Waters - are not always clear, in fact "waters" can look an awful lot like blood.
2) The Birth - BLOOD ! Horror! Gore! Why don't they tell you to expect it?
3) Sleepless Nights - These two words can never really properly express what a sleepless night really means. Tired! Hahaha! Tired is just a word too. Let's see - how about; Mind Numbing, Insanity forming, physically destructive, brain destablising torture or the simple acronym - MNIFPDBDT.
4) Crying - Not just an annoying noise - A sound that drills through to your soul, makes your heart leap up out of your mouth and generally makes you feel panicky. Oh yes - it happens a lot too.
5) Baby Moods - This is how it goes - Crying (Hungry), Crying (Windy), Crying (Wet), Crying (Nappy filled with something from a horror film), Crying (Tired), Crying (Because he is sensing your mood), Sleeping, Sleep Crying, Wide awake and smiling (3am - 5am).
6) Colic - Ripley looks like he is starting to develop mild Colic, this is bad news if sleep is something you like doing. He looks in so much pain, curled up - shaking - crying - rubbing his face with sharp baby nails. It is upsetting in the extreme.
7) Breast Feeding Fascists - "You are breast feeding arn't you?" - NHS Midwifes are fantastic, but all this breast feeding stuff really gets on my nerves. If the kid isn't into it then there is NOTHING you can do about it, that is the way it is. YES we know "Breast is best"! But come on! The most important person in this whole situation is the mother, it is she who must get used to the whole "parent" thing, having the stress of a baby who simply will not breast feed and people milling around telling her to persist can be just too much. For the sake of the mental health of the parents & the happiness of the baby, midwifes should be a little more realistic. Mind you - one midwife was very helpful, she was a parent of 3, some breast fed some didn't, she knew the score. I remember her looking left then right and leaning to Penny whispering - "Don't write this in your notes, but don't worry if breast feeding doesn't work, just give it your best shot". I can tell you this was a real breath of fresh air for us both.
1) Happy Baby - For the moments during the day that your kid is happy smiling and laughing it REALLY gives you a big lift, you almost totally forget the 2 hours of screaming.
2) Ear Plugs - Just worked this out this morning, if you wear ear plugs when the kid is screaming at you - for example; the nappy change before a feed is quite noisy, then the sound is less painful on the eardrums, you can still hear them, it just allows you to keep your concentration.
3) Gadgets - Buy every gadget in the world for the kid - it WILL make your life easier. Already broke from all the prams, cots, clothing, etc - no problem, but it on ebay, sell it when finished, the chances are you will make a few quid along the way. Digital thermometers, movement / sound sensors, video monitors, steam sterilisers, bottle warmers, etc, etc, BUY THEM.
4) Burping - It is amazing how a little burp and cheer you up so much. It takes ages to burp a baby, they are often squirming about and looking mad, when you hear that burp you know that is a little less air making him feel uncomfortable.
5) Google - "Shit is his face suppose to be peeling like that?" Ask Google - "Ah ha! www.peelingbaby.com has an article on this, I can now relax". Babycenter.co.uk is also excellent.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Random Video Moments
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I love to video. Wherever I go in the world you can bet I will be clasping my faithful Sony Camcorder. It has been with me from travelling the death railway in Thailand to the top of the WTC in New York. From the great wall of China to Niagara Falls. So it is a fair assumption that this kid is going to be heavily videoed (not the birth :) )
While I still have time I plan to do a video of Me and Pen, our lives before the arrival & our future plans.
I figure it would be interesting for our family and for our kid in the future. Also he can laugh at our amusing clothing and dated internal combustion engined automobile. It's 2004 for God's sake - Where are the flying cars?
Anyway, I might make a few streaming videos for the interweb. Watch this space.