Parenthood for Dummies
Being a father is a wild ride. My name is Christopher & these are my observations, theories & comments on life as the dad of my two boys Ripley & Jayden. I write this to air my thoughts & update my friends & family with photos, videos and such like. For everyone else I offer hints and tips on parenting as I learn them. For legal reasons I make no direct reference to my employer or any of my colleagues.
10 Most Recent Images
on with the show...
most recent posts appear first in the list, then proceeding back in time, check "archives" section on left-hand sidebar for earlier posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Diary_: Launchcast Saved My Life
Seriously, I think I would go stark raving mad if I didn't have my music. I have to say that launchcast from yahoo truly is brilliant and would recommend this to anyone. It can take a while to get your radio station just how you want it, it takes a great many ratings before the server tunes into your musical taste. I feel that my radio station is a fairly accurate depiction of my musical tastes. If you feel like tuning in then please do by CLICKING HERE
Tags: launchcast Yahoo! radio stream music
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Low Point_: Through Sickness One Thought Prevails
Ripley was ill as I carried him home to bed last night. His skin pale and limbs weak as I lay him on the bed to change him into his bed clothes. He looked up at me through tear stained and red eyes, slowly pulling out his dummy he carefully formed his mouth to speak the words.... "Round Round". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Through thick and thin, only one thing is on his mind - That Bloody Washing Machine.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Grandparenthood for Dummies
Ripley is lucky enough to have 3 sets of grandparents who are all mad about him. John and Belinda (My In-Laws) started a blog to record Ripley's development. It is a nice record as I don't get to spend much time with him during the day and I can see what he has been up to. You can read it here - it is called - wait for it - Grandparenthood for Dummies Nice.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Video_: Another washing machine obsessed baby
Misc_: Picking a Name for your Baby
Some friends of mine are going through this very challenging part of parenthood right now. Picking a name for your child is definitely one of the most tricky things you have to decide.
The thing about it is that it makes it real. You could argue that it is not so much selecting a name as admitting the inevitable. Giving a name to your unborn child cements it firmly in reality.
I was reminded that there is an excellent baby name database to help you decide and give you some background on the name. You can try it here: http://www.kitt.net/babynames.html
Some people believe that you should only decide on the name of your child when you meet him or her, I couldn't agree less, the name you decide will always be right for your child irrespective of what he or she looks like, remember kids, it is personality that counts not looks, the personality of your child could well be influenced by the name you give him or her, think about it that way.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Misc_: Angel Manifestation
My long time friend from school Kate has started her very own blog on Angels. She is an expert on how she believes Angels can help with your day to day life. Her alternative take on life is refreshing.
I am a natural born liberal non-committal agnostic. I don't believe that anyone has ever proved or ever can prove that a religious entities like God, Angels, the Devil, spirits, etc can exist, however, I am not an atheist - I cannot rule out the possiblity that they are there (nobody can). So here I sit in the middle.
From talking to Kate and reading her first entry I can say one thing. The idea of Angel manifestation simply embodies faith and above all hope. It allows people to displace the bad feelings and worries in their life to a higher power. You cannot control many elements of your life, but it is very difficult not to worry about them, to have faith that a more powerful caring entity will take these worries away from you and maybe make things better for you is a lovely idea. The upshot of having this belief is a positive attitude, and if more people had that then we would be living in a better world.
So let's here it for the Angels and I wish Kate the best of luck with her up and coming fair - read all about Kate and get advice on Angels here - http://angels.kitt.net
Monday, January 23, 2006
Misc_: Promiscuity / Twin Theory
Penny - who was a little jealous of my previous excellent theory - came up with her own theory which is also good - not as good as mine - but good all the same. So using my popular blog as a soapbox here it is:
Here are the facts:
1) People are more liberal about sex- basically they are more promiscuous.
2) Approx 10% of the youth today are infected with Chlamydia - possibly a great deal more.
3) Chlamydia buggers up your baby making bits.
4) Step in Fertility Treatment (IVF) to solve that problem.
5) Hey presto - IVF increases your chance of multiple births.
Therefore - cutting to the chase:
We are facing a future with a great deal more twins, triplets, etc.
If I can just add my theory on top of Penny's:
It will be a terrifying world where society will be divided into loaners and twins. Twins will naturally rule over the loaners as they will use their genetically enhanced psychic abilities to dominate and control. A lesson for us all. Wear a condom.
Misc_: Deferred Depreciation Discount Theory
This is my theory (DDDT) - I am fairly positive that some clever chap in a university somewhere has come up with the same theory many years before but here goes. I realised that the way that my Wife and I buy things is now determined by it's period of use and value after we have used it. This more temporary attitude toward material objects is very liberating as it keeps your house free of useless junk. Of course this abilty to buy and sell is thanks to everyone's favourite marketplace eBay.
For example. We bought a pram for Ripley. We now don't use it so we are selling it and are amazed to discover we can sell it for 66% of the original purchase price.
When we buy things we spend more because we know we can get more money back for quality items and enjoy a better quality item during the finite time it is useful.
I don't believe it is just me that buys and ultimately sells like this. I know people think like this and I can only imagine the method will be followed more and more as people use online market places and discover this fact for themselves.
Why is my Deferred Depreciation Discount Theory so appealing:
1) It is easy to spend more
2) You are motivated to clear out and declutter anyway
3) You can get money back and start the process again!
For the ultimate in money saving you could buy second hand online!
Note - Naturally technology does not do so well as technology will depreciate due to the fact that it's usefulness is dependent on other factors.
I hereby claim this theory as my own :)
Penny would like me to add that I still have a loft full of sh*t (she said it with a slightly agressive tone).
Saturday, January 21, 2006
My Favourite Blogs
Here is my up-to-date list of the best blogs on the internet.
Google Video of the Day - Concept Car Gallery - Optical Illusions - Witty Quotes - Claymation - Bandwagon Capitalism - Best Standup Comedian One-Liner Jokes
Friday, January 20, 2006
Misc_: One Eyed Kitten
I felt a mixture of sadness and horror when I saw this photo of a kitten with only one eye and no nose, from Oregon, USA, it was born and lived for only one day. ;( Apparently it was a continuation of the Ragdoll breed - Oi - CAT BREEDERS stop now!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Funny_: Dream of Washing Machines
Diary_: Bulldog blocking Skype
Looks like my ISP Bulldog broadband have started blocking Skype in my area!!! WHY WHY WHY! I am so annoyed - it is my primary method of communication with my friends and colleagues. No doubt they will send me something next week trying to flog me VOIP - I am so mad I am going to cancel my account - I suggest you do the same.
Diary_: My PC blew up
This is why you haven't seen any photos on this blog for a while. I hope to have it fixed very soon, hopefully I have not lost any data, luckily I have taken a backup of all of my photos and have some cracking images from over the Christmas period which I am dying to share.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Misc_: Eastenders Government Sponsered Messages
Ok, I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist (which I am a bit). But Eastenders (UK soap opera TV program) is just full of government messages that support the current agenda or public opinion. We have learned that teen pregnacy is bad as are drugs, crime doesn't pay, remember the fallen WWII soldiers, don't be a DWP benefits scrounger, don't kill your husband (unless you are really pushed). Of course the underlying message from Eastenders is to be a good capitalist. All the characters lives are based around 1) The market 2) The pub 3) The Cafe 4) The laundrette 5) The Used Car Dealers - these are the five basic sets of the program. Every scene shows the characters in the process of paying for something or holding something they have just bought - be it a pint, receipt for a service wash, bacon sandwich, half a pound of apples, etc, etc. Where do these people get the money? They are broke cockney's living hand to mouth, and yet can afford rounds of drinks for all at the drop of a hat - hang on I have an idea - characters of Eastenders why not sell your houses (for upwards of 3/4 of a million for a 3 bed semi in the east end) then you can move somewhere nice, nice being where your chances of being stabbed, shot, exploded, burned to death or attacked by a dogs are dramatically reduced. The property capitalist message never seems to pop up, I wonder why?
I am still addicted to the bloody program :)
Penny - got a cold
Ripley - got a BOY cold (quite bad)
Chris - got a MAN cold (much worse)
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Observation_: Me (14 Months On)
OK. I am going to write about me for a change. Here is a list of things that I have noticed 14 months after Ripley was born:
1) Above all I have a lovely little boy now.
2) Sleep - I don't sleep as much as I used to but I have got used to it. If I am in bed at 9:30 it is a lie in now (unlike my 1pm lie ins before Rip). This is a good point not bad - my weekends feel longer now that I am awake more.
3) Career - I work to live now, not the other way around.
4) Nappies - I can change a wriggling baby in mere seconds.
1) Old - I look older, I am only 30 but I have wrinkles now, my hairline is higher, my back hurts, etc.
2) Money - I don't have much money any more.
3) House - Our house is too small now.
4) Mental - I go "Ahhhhh" at pampers adverts.
5) Psycho - I want to kill people who let their massive lumbering dogs run around our local park barking at children.
6) Parents - If I say I am visiting they ask - "Ripley is coming too yes?" I am just the chauffeur it seems. I have fallen down the rankings of importance. I don't care really of course - I am pleased that they all love him so much.
7) Poppers - I have popped 15.8 Million of those sodding little popper things on baby clothes. Parents know what I am talking about.
I might add to this if I think of more.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Observation_: Ripley Signs at 14 Months
He is 14 Months old tomorrow and he is so damn clever. I am not saying he is any cleverer than other kids (I have no idea and don't care), but to me he is a genius. I am amazed by what he is doing.
All of a sudden (over the past week or so) he has totally got the idea of signing.
Sign language that he does:
Milk, Juice, Food, More, All Gone, Bath, Apple, Biscuit.
He invented the biscuit sign, it involved a sort of M sign with his arms, the international sign language sign for biscuit is to tap your right elbow. Ripley has simply adapted it to make it easier.
We are just starting to teach him joined up signing, e.g. Juice all gone, more food. I think he will get it really quickly.
His understanding of language is coming along really well. For example you can say, "Ripley give mummy your toy train" and he will. You can say "Put your dirty jumper in the washing machine" and he heads straight toward his favourite kitchen appliance. He is acting a little OCD :) He likes things to be in their place and makes sure they are. I guess this is why shape sorting toys are so well loved.
He is sleeping better, although his last few teeth are coming through now and he is in a little pain at night. That is the other thing; Pain - apart from the teeth he seems to be immune. For instance he fell the other day and whacked his head on a cupboard. He got straight up, made a disgruntled noise and patted his head... then headed to the washing machine.
Here are a couple of shots of Ripley in his idea of Heaven - MFI. Apparently he couldn't believe his eyes.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Diary_: House Buying Blues
Feeling a bit down this week. Got back from Amsterdam only to find out that the house we were going to buy has escaped us. Effectively we have been gazumped. It is depressing because both Penny and I imagined living there so vividly. It was such a lovely house, with a massive garden within it a big oak tree. I can handle being gazumped, but it happened in a rather cruel way. The owner of the property we were supposed to be buying took a higher offer because they thought our house wasn't going to sell. 24 hours later and we had an offer on our house. I guess I should look on the bright side. After all we do have an offer on our house which we have now accepted. We have a complete chain below us which gives us a tremendous amount of buying power. but the unfortunate fact is that there are no houses available that we want to buy. The chain below us are aware of our situation and are happy to wait, for how long I am not sure. Anyway, I am not going to move to a house that I'm not 100% happy with. After all, I like it here.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Diary_: headin back to the hotel
Blimey I'm quite pissed now... I'm not goijg to correctg my spelloing - it adds to the auuthenticity :))). Matt is asking the taxi driver about orginised crime. My head is spinnoing.... Couple of hours sleep then a nice big greasy brakfast... Hangover kicking in now ... Need Sleep badly - speediing through amsterdam - red lights, dancinggirls, pimps, pushers, drunks, mainly yanks. Cold out, bitter breeze.. Night all.
Matts gone to the bar for vodka rdbull. I have to blog cos a freaky looking chick is giving me the eye. Going to ignore her. I notcied that now I'm married I am extremely attractive to women. Funny that :) hahaha
Diary_: more pissed
On the redbull now. Matt (bladder of a sparrow) is in the bog again. I am blogging to prove I can blog from anywhere when pissed. Oooh he's back :)
Diary_: bit pissed up in the dam
Had a few, in a shity club in the red light area. No strippers, just euro pop crap and expensive beer. Enjoying it though, talking shit to my mate Matt about indy music, mis spent youth, etc. Missed the last train home. Guess we are here for the duration. Matt is back from the bog best go.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Diary_: Flying to Amsterdam
I love night flights. There is something vaguely romantic about travelling the empty roads to the quiet airport. As I rise above the city the early morning rodent rush begins, I am thankful that I don't do that anymore. From the air you can uderstand why motorways are referred to as artaries. The thick flow of glistening headlights along the M25 feeding smaller slower A road veins. The clots at accidents. It fades as I rise higher, into the murky winter cloud layer. Stale roll, cool coffee. Stars appear in the inky blue sky. The dawn coming quickly as speed toward it. Not long until I arrive. I see the unmistakable flickering yellow light of a flame burning on the sea below, I wonder if that is the exhaust from an oil rig or a ship whose captain is having a bad day. The plane banks steeply around and the majestic dawn slides silently into view. I see many ships as we approach the Netherlands, travelling together along the unseen artaries of the sea. Land ahoy. Cloud thickening now, blue and grey against the black sea below, we sink slowly toward it, so close the plane rumbles against the tops. The flat land spreads out under me. Green with a silver layer of frost, some snow around edges of sqaure fields. It is light now, but I am tired. <Bing> belt up time to land, all electronic equipment off, a baby yells as the pressure changes in her ears. Gear down. Reverse thrust. Runway below, bump rumble. I'm here.
I blog at times like these to help the time go by. Better use of time than reading "news"papers. Also I blog now to record how I feel. It is hard to tear me away from my family, but I must admit I still feel like a kid whenever I fly. I hope that never changes.
Off the amsterdam, on the runway - Jets have sparked up - better go. Missing home already :(
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year 2006
Well, yesterday as the clock struck midnight and 2005 faded away I was lying in bed with Penny and Ripley asleep in a cot. It had to be the most uneventful new year I have had since I was about 10 years old. But the funny thing is
I have a great feeling about 2006. To my readership, have a really great year.