Parenthood for Dummies
Being a father is a wild ride. My name is Christopher & these are my observations, theories & comments on life as the dad of my two boys Ripley & Jayden. I write this to air my thoughts & update my friends & family with photos, videos and such like. For everyone else I offer hints and tips on parenting as I learn them. For legal reasons I make no direct reference to my employer or any of my colleagues.
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on with the show...
most recent posts appear first in the list, then proceeding back in time, check "archives" section on left-hand sidebar for earlier posts
Monday, June 20, 2005
Hot in Paris
After long delays I have Just arrived in Paris. As soon as I stepped
off the plane I was hit both with a wall of tropical heat 30'c and a
sense of dread. The tropical heat has been blown in from the Atlantic
and is engulfing everywhere in Europe with no sign of calming. The dread
was brought on by being a Englishman with schoolboy level German
language skills standing in an airport that appeared (possibly by
design) to confuse only me. I have the added disadvantage of not only
not speaking a word of French but not being able to pronounce anything
After a drawn-out discussion with an information desk, which comprised
mainly of me speaking loudly in a french accent, I am now sitting in the
back of possibly the world's hottest mini van with 3 other sweating
travellers. After driving for half an hour we appear to have made it
back to where we were, although it could be another grey concrete
terminal. Hang on... It is the same bloody place.
Missing Pen & Rip, who at the moment I should probably collectively call
Rippen as Rip is going through a clingy stage which is not good for
anyone. Penny is feeling stressed from the continual crying whenever
she leaves the room, and I appear to have changed in his eyes from a
hysterically amusing superman to an annoying pink obsticle blocking the
view of his Mum. He is crawling and has a second tooth (both on the
All of us have been suffering in this heat, leading me to conduct
elobarate experiments with fans and blocks of ice trying to cool Rip's
room a little. I am determined not to buy an aircon. Firstly becuase I
am saving for 'the plan' and secondly... Aircon in England! Madness!
Oh yes, just turned 30, Pen too. I have a great bunch of friends who
all came around and had a good weekend enjoying the sun. Dad went home
from his weekend stay yesterday, missed him as soon as he left.
Just gained 2 more in the travelling sauna. Merde.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Sunday, June 12, 2005
7 Months Today
Well he is really moving now. You have to watch him every second.
Likes - Spoons (metal ones), Any song by the Eels especially "Hey Man, Now you're really living", plastic bags :(, Wires (preferably plugged into the mains), plug sockets, Swings, Knocking over wooden blocks, emptying cardboard boxes, expensive electronic equipment, door wedges, remote controls, keyboards, removing wipes from boxes, banging things, opening draws, sucking Mummy's face, grabbing Daddy's chest hair (& twisting), crawling off sofas/beds/anything high enough to cause him damage, shouting, other babies, cheese.
Dislikes - People blowing their noses, the blender, the shredder, the hoover, us sleeping, not being the centre of attention, cod.
Anyway, he is tiring us out :) But is a good way. We are trying to sell our cars at the moment. Looking to buy a nice new (ish) 4 door one, thus saving Pen's back from any damage.
His single tooth is through. He is drooling a lot, but his mouth isn't causing him too much pain at the moment. He chews everything. It is fecking sharp!
He seems quite unfazable. He regularly bumps and bangs himself while he learns to crawl, but it never stops his mission and he never cries, this is a good sign.
His swimming is coming along, he is level 2 now, which basically means you can dunk him under as many times as you like and he never cries. Also he can swim underwater for a few feet and cling onto the edge of the pool.
It's my birthday soon. The big three zero. This year I will be hard to buy presents for, I have everything I have ever wanted.