Dummies Everywhere

Dummies are great. Here is why; At 8:30pm yesterday evening the clouds darkened thunder clapped and his eyes turned red (dramatisation), he was however; hungry, tired, bored, a touch colicy & very damp. Nappy changes during this time are always a little traumatic for all involved. Bring out the secret weapon. Popped the dummy in his mouth and he calmed down. Did the entire change without a peep from the little chap. Removed the dummy and gave him his food, he was great.

.o0(I wonder if I will ever curse the day I gave him a dummy - hmmmm)

My job has destablised. When the earthquake stops I will either be standing tall or dead under a pile of rumble. Sod's law - just when you need stablity, something starts the boat rocking. Anyway - it could end up being good news in the long run, no point being pessimist, but it is hard when you are tired.

In other news, CENSORED

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Back 2 Work

Went back to work today, I am missing my family badly. I am very tired, but in a way it is nice to see my friends again. I am happy to say that Penny is doing fantastically well at being a full time Mother. It is a tremendous shock to the system when you are handed a little screaming pink thing and told to get on with it, she is meeting the challenge head on and winning (funk management speak is creaping into my blog - I truely am back at work). Penny's Mum & Dad are being a fantastic help.

Anyway, long may our family continue to get stronger. Bought him some emergency dummies today, he likes to suck the nipple of the bottle when he is full - he then looks horrified when he gets milk from it. A dummy may help him relax, we will probably hold off from giving it to him straight away, they are seen as evil by Midwives (don't ask me). Also bought him a surprise gift - Photos later I should think.

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Hint: Scratching

Mittens for babies are used to stop them scratching - Don't bother - If your child has big hands like Ripley then they are off in a flash. Socks. Stick socks over their hands, they don't come off, they have total flexiblity of their fingers, they won't be able to scratch their little faces (or yours) :) Everyone is happy.

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Baby Massage

I highly recommend baby massage as a method to relax a baby. The affect on Ripley's mood is amazing. Doesn't work all the time, but when it works it is great. You simply lightly rub across the baby's skin. It helps them improve their touch senses. Anyway, it is 2am now, Ripley is on my lap squirming away with the affects of colic, even a baby massage is unlikely to help him this time.

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The "Things They Don't Tell You" List

Here are a list of things I have come across that people really should have warned us about. I will update this list whenever we notice something that we really didn't see coming:

Bad Stuff

1) Waters - are not always clear, in fact "waters" can look an awful lot like blood.
2) The Birth - BLOOD ! Horror! Gore! Why don't they tell you to expect it?
3) Sleepless Nights - These two words can never really properly express what a sleepless night really means. Tired! Hahaha! Tired is just a word too. Let's see - how about; Mind Numbing, Insanity forming, physically destructive, brain destablising torture or the simple acronym - MNIFPDBDT.
4) Crying - Not just an annoying noise - A sound that drills through to your soul, makes your heart leap up out of your mouth and generally makes you feel panicky. Oh yes - it happens a lot too.
5) Baby Moods - This is how it goes - Crying (Hungry), Crying (Windy), Crying (Wet), Crying (Nappy filled with something from a horror film), Crying (Tired), Crying (Because he is sensing your mood), Sleeping, Sleep Crying, Wide awake and smiling (3am - 5am).
6) Colic - Ripley looks like he is starting to develop mild Colic, this is bad news if sleep is something you like doing. He looks in so much pain, curled up - shaking - crying - rubbing his face with sharp baby nails. It is upsetting in the extreme.
7) Breast Feeding Fascists - "You are breast feeding arn't you?" - NHS Midwifes are fantastic, but all this breast feeding stuff really gets on my nerves. If the kid isn't into it then there is NOTHING you can do about it, that is the way it is. YES we know "Breast is best"! But come on! The most important person in this whole situation is the mother, it is she who must get used to the whole "parent" thing, having the stress of a baby who simply will not breast feed and people milling around telling her to persist can be just too much. For the sake of the mental health of the parents & the happiness of the baby, midwifes should be a little more realistic. Mind you - one midwife was very helpful, she was a parent of 3, some breast fed some didn't, she knew the score. I remember her looking left then right and leaning to Penny whispering - "Don't write this in your notes, but don't worry if breast feeding doesn't work, just give it your best shot". I can tell you this was a real breath of fresh air for us both.

Good Stuff

1) Happy Baby - For the moments during the day that your kid is happy smiling and laughing it REALLY gives you a big lift, you almost totally forget the 2 hours of screaming.
2) Ear Plugs - Just worked this out this morning, if you wear ear plugs when the kid is screaming at you - for example; the nappy change before a feed is quite noisy, then the sound is less painful on the eardrums, you can still hear them, it just allows you to keep your concentration.
3) Gadgets - Buy every gadget in the world for the kid - it WILL make your life easier. Already broke from all the prams, cots, clothing, etc - no problem, but it on ebay, sell it when finished, the chances are you will make a few quid along the way. Digital thermometers, movement / sound sensors, video monitors, steam sterilisers, bottle warmers, etc, etc, BUY THEM.
4) Burping - It is amazing how a little burp and cheer you up so much. It takes ages to burp a baby, they are often squirming about and looking mad, when you hear that burp you know that is a little less air making him feel uncomfortable.
5) Google - "Shit is his face suppose to be peeling like that?" Ask Google - "Ah ha! www.peelingbaby.com has an article on this, I can now relax". Babycenter.co.uk is also excellent.

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Ripley's 1st Smile

As you can see from that last pic, I have invested in a baby carrier, it is great, I now have both hands free to do things - tidy the house, blog, even eat on occasion. He is in it as I type.

It is 10am & Dad has just left, I miss him already, it was really nice to see him and he adores Ripley (though still not the name :) ).

So what has been happening since my last post. His sleep pattern hasn't been improving, once he wakes up at 3am that's it until 9am. Don't get me wrong, he isn't wailing the house down, he is just awake. He is actually quite a calm kid only crying if excessively; hungry, cold, tired, damp, soiled. I get the best end of the deal, I feed him at midnight and 3am, then Pen takes over for the next shift, unfortunately as I just mentioned the next shift can start straight away :S

My main concern is that Penny won't get used to the lack of sleep, early signs are that she is coping fine - which makes me happy. She naps during the afternoon and that does her the world of good. On average mothers with newborns get 5 hours sleep in a 24 hour period, I am sure Pen is getting much more than that.

Anyway, Pen came back from the doctors, hip check for Rip (no problems found). The doctor made an interesting comment, she said that he is exceptionally strong. She found it difficult to check his hips because he was pushing back with such force. She said that she would expect that from a 3 or 6 month baby, but not a 10 day old newborn. Judging by the weight, length and strength of Ripley, she thinks he will be very big and strong. This is excellent news.

Anyway, the main reason I posted, he passed a milestone last night. During a nappy change, which can be and usually is a traumatic experience for all, he started to smile. It came from the baby massage I was doing to calm him down. You basically get them undressed and gently run your hands over their arms, legs, etc. He just made a happy squeal and started smiling. Usually this is just wind so I ignored it, but he just kept doing it for about 30 minutes. I even woke up Penny. He was smiling, laughing and playing as we tickled him. I even videod it as I was sure we had hit our first milestone. These markers along the road make it all worth while.

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Geek Father Pic

Me blogging this morning

Ripley, why Ripley?

Ripley seems to be a name that people love or hate. People have asked where did the name comes from. First let me explain...


Where it did NOT come from:

1) Alien - No. As much as I love the alien killing antics of Lt. Ripley (I even own the ltd ed DVD box set and am a bit of a geek about the films) this is not the reason I like the name. Anyway Ripley is a girl I hear you cry! Well for your info, the first draft of the script for Alien had Ripley as a male character, as Ripley is a male name. Later drafts cast the role as female, the name remained but was changed to the surname instead - Lt. Ripley.

2) The Talented Mr Ripley - No. Didn't really like this film, at the end of the day who is going to name their kid after a homosexual psychopath. Again, the characters name was Tom Ripley - Ripley being the surname again.

3) Blackpool (BBC Drama) - No. That was a bit weird, as soon as we decide on a name along comes a BBC drama (very odd one) where the main character is called Ripley Holden. Well, we thought of it first :)

4) Ripley's Believe it or Not - No. Nobody in England really knows about this guy, it is an American phenomenon. For the benefit of UK audience, this Ripley's work is a cross between - The Guiness Book of Records, a comic and a freakshow.


Criteria:

We wanted above most things for the name to

1) Be a little unusual without being daft

2) Be "old English" in origin.

3) Shorten down to a cool nickname.


Long Story Short:

We were watching a film (not a great one) called Dodgeball starring Rip Torn, I remember saying that is a cool nickname to Pen. So we got out the book to try and find what Rip might be short for. We saw Ripley, we saw it was English in origin & in a second our minds were made up. So I guess the slightly sad fact is Rip Torn gave us the idea - his real name is not Ripley though, it is Elmore Raul Torn - Rip is his obvious nickname.


So who likes it and who hates it?

Let me say - I truely don't give a crap. But here is what I have noticed;

Like Camp:

1) My friends & work colleagues were always quick to take the piss out of all my name suggestions, Ripley was the only one that everyone really thought was unique and cool.

2) When ever I met people I had not met before and would never meet again, I introduced myself as Ripley (just to get a feel for it). The reaction was always positive. I tried this technique on various names we were considering, but Ripley felt right. While on a stag night with a good Friend called Dan Gilbert, some ladies at a Gentlemen's club we were frequenting liked it the best - good or bad - not sure.

3) Penny's parents like it alot, although they never really said as they didn't want to influence us either way, they enthused about it after we had made up our own minds, considerate as usual.

Hate Camp:

1) My Mum & Dad both Hate it. Dad is threatening to refuse to call him it. I love my Dad and respect his opinion, but even his dislike for the name hasn't put me off it, so from his perspective his actions have had a negative effect as I feel stronger about the name. Mum thinks it sounds like Rippley, as in, the sea is a bit rippley :) Ahh well (Her name is Elva which ain't exactly mainstream :) )

2) People too polite to say otherwise :)

One final thing...

He looks like a Ripley! Obvious really, should have said that at the beginning.

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POO!

Baby poo.. believe me.. it comes in all different forms and colours, I imagine it won't be long before someone nails one to a canvas and wins the Turner Prize.

I must admit I was a little worried by the green lumpy stuff I saw today.

But, once again, Babycenter saves the day with handy advice to put my mind at rest - http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/551926.html

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Video Wall

The Ripley Video Spectacular is online :D - Check it out here - http://www.kitt.net/ripley/

I find myself doing web development at 3am while feeding him, I must be pretty good at it, I do it 1 handed :)

Enjoying Life with Ripley & Penny very much.

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Forget Atkins...

I have a brand new diet that has been proven in trials (run by me) - it's called the Ripley diet and it is ridiculously simple:

Step 1) Have a son, name him Ripley
Step 2) Run around like a crazy person, feeding, tidying, changing, washing, etc
Step 3) Ditto - in the middle of the night
Step 4) Forget to eat
Step 5) Repeat steps 2 to 3 until he leaves home.

I have lost 2 kg in the last week on this new diet :)

Seriously, I am having fun, Penny is coping much better than I thought, the kid is quite good when compared to the screaming monster I imagined he might be. So let's see how it turns out - hopefully my Dad will be coming to visit soon, Penny and I cannot wait for Rick and Ripley to meet (although Dad still hates the name :S) More photos soon.

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0 to 3 months my arse 

Mirror Mirror 

John & Ripley

John & Ripley sitting on the Sofa following a successful wander around town, John particularly enjoyed pushing the pram, it was nice, felt like Pen & I could go off and shop if we wanted - of course we didn't want to leave the little chap

First trip into town

First trip into town all secure and snug in his pram cot, he didn't make a peep for the entire trip, we had a good time, I bought a copy of HalfLife 2 (just to put a date on things for geeks)

His Name

Silly of me to forget... his name is officially...

RIPLEY

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First Night at Home

Wow! The rollercoaster rumbles on. Didn't get much sleep last night (7am now). Ripley was crying quite a bit, changed him twice, etc, etc. Still not happy... Then as if by magic he started feeding properly (we were worried he wasn't getting enough). Well he has worked it out now! He is asleep in my arms as I type, Pen is having a bath and a relax she is FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC. We are all very happy :) Even with the lack of sleep, I still feel I am coping OK, especially when you get past these milestones.

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Coming Home 

Proud Mum 

Awake & Hungry 

Sleepy Lad 

Riding the Rollercoaster

Wow, my earlier analogy of waiting for a kid being like queuing for a Rollercoaster was spot on, cos now I am riding it (emotionally). Last night at 3am was a low, I was at home asleep and the mobile sounded, Penny was distraught, I won't go into details but sometimes when you are tired and the kid is crying you start crying too. I calmed Penny down (remarkably quicky I was proud to say). I put the phone down and felt so useless, I turned of the light and my thoughts built up and a wave of panic rushed over me, consumed every part of my head, I turned on the light and run into the bathroom, not sure why, maybe felt like I was going to be sick or something else. I sat and waited for logic to take over - I am not alone. I was right - I am so lucky to have so many people who want to help and that fact cheered me up. I managed to get to sleep. The bright sunny day that presented itself made me feel truely excellent and whats more, after the call, Penny got 5 hours sleep and felt 100% better, the kid have even learned a few extra facial expressions (not just Monkey) - Photos later I promise, meanwhile Pen's parents are cooking me real food! FANTASTIC.

One last thing, 60 or 70 text messages from friends and family! Wow! Also My Mum, StepDad & Bro came 300 miles to surprise visit! Fantastic to see them! Stunned.

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Feeling Groovy

He is a cute kid & I love him to bits - it did take a few hours sleep and a breath of air for this fact to kick in. Was too stunned & in awe of Penny to appreiciate him fully last night. Waiting now for Pen's family to turn up - sitting on the wall in the cold scribbling into my phone. More pics later.

Bright Light! 

Pride! 

Arrived

Ripley born @ 23.15 - 8lb on the nose. Mother & baby doing well - off home to bed now.

Action Stations

I am walking to Tescos to get some food - its 9pm so the canteen is closed. Penny is in labour & scared - so am I. The cold November air is clearing my head, feeling better. Walking in the dark while writing on my PDA is tricky so I had better stop.

ls this it?

Well I'm pacing outside the hospital getting some air. Penny may be in early stages of labour! TBC

Schrodinger's Cat - Wanted Dead and Alive

No sign of the little fella yet... Soon though... SURELY

Here is something for you to read. This is the funniest retort (to the comments of a total fool I might add) I have ever read:

"Disregarding the metaphysical aspects of Schrodinger's cats, I must protest at the use of(possibly live) animals for experiments such as these. I urge readers to boycott whatever product this research is leading to."

Roger Bisby, Reigate, Surrey.

"There is nothing wrong with the Schroedinger's Cat experiment! You aren't actually killing the cat until you measure it... When the Humane Society comes up and looks into your box, you can rest assured that the cat's death is their fault..."
Anthony Coulter

Funny Science Geek Joke:

Mrs. Schroedinger to Mr. Schroedinger: What the hell did you do to the cat?It looks half dead!

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Moving along...?

OK anonymous internet cloud, I don't want to go into too much detail but I get the impression that the baby might be moving in the right direction - No going back now :) Let's wait and see.

On another note I read something on the internet "written" by someone who professes to hate weblogs, I won't paste a link directly as it contained a great deal of chav/redneck language (the repartee of the illiterate). The basic jist was that blogs were written by self-obsessed people with nothing important to say. I would have to agree on one point, I don't consider what I write to be terribly important for the rest of the world, just important for me. If that point makes me self-obsessed then I guess I am, but let's break it down a bit - WHO ISN'T - if you can't be obsessed about your OWN life, family and friends then there is something terribly wrong and in the words of Mr T - "I ain't getting on no plane Murdock" no.. that's not right.... "I Pity the Fool" - that's the one.

Everyone has a right to an opinion, that is what blogging is about, it's funny - the person in question was getting his soapbox about other people getting on their soapboxes. He believed that his unread rant about other's unread rants was different in some way, oh the irony. Keep the speech free and keep on speaking, even if you have nothing important to say.

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Chat with Dad

I have put in a bid on Ebay for a Baby Movement Detector (under matress) - This was a tricky decision, I don't want to turn into a paranoid parent. Hell what are the chances of that - a paranoid person becoming a paranoid parent. Oh well, if it helps us sleep then I guess it is worth it.

Conversation with Dad to save me time typing the latest news :-

Rick: hi
Chris: hi - still nothing to report :)
Rick: Your Mum reminded me you were 2 weeks late
Chris: Was I? I will have to tell Penny
Rick: Try this. stand close to penny and say loudly " I don't think we will call him Ripley after all". He will be out tomorrow I guarantee.
Chris: That is very amusing
Chris: I am really looking forward to it - I don't know if Penny can wait too long though :S - Penny saw the midwife yesterday, all is well, baby is in the right position (wiggling like crazy), any time now basically
Rick: great
Chris: Yep, not long till you become a grandad! Have you started pulling your trousers up way to far yet? (stereotype)
Rick: Ha Ha

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Stil Nowt

Please think my silence is due to having a new arrival. Well it is D-Day + 4 days and still nothing. Penny and I are a bit bemused :) Oh well, as the old saying goes - "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" - no thats not right... erm.. oh yeah - "Good things come to those who wait". Let's hope so.

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Another week begins...

Back to work this morning, quite funny - my friends here thought that I wouldn't be back in today so I got all the "goodbye & good luck" compliments on Friday - they arrived this morning looking a little bemused. Guess we will have to wait a little longer, Penny will probably have to visit the midwife today to set a date to be induced! Man - they are way too organised, we both hope that doesn't happen.

Here is a depressing but true quote about waiting:

It is strange... that the years teach us patience; that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting. - Elizabeth Taylor

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All good now

Back home now, Midwife was nice, plugged Pen into a monitor and we got to listen to his heart beating for half an hour, much more interesting when you are listening to your own kid's heart beat. He is fine, she is fine, small infection picked up so antibiotics prescribed, nothing to worry about. I wasn't really that worried anyway.

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Sitting in Hospital

Well here we are - sitting in the maternity wing on Sunday afternoon - it's not what you think.

Pen woke up and felt hot, she was complaining of swollen feet & hands which is unusual for her. The surgery was closed & the midwife unavailable, so we wandered to Boots to get her blood pressure checked. As we suspected it was higher than normal. So here we are.

Nothing to worry about but best to have these things checked.

Pen is lying next to me on a ward bed & I am sitting in a faux leather chair. We are surrounded by at least four other prenatal couples, it is hard to tell, our bed is the only one with curtains open. Opposite we listen to a woman crying, vomitting & groaning, while next to us the loud drumming beat of a baby heart monitor is making us tense. The scene is lit by sickly buzzing neon tubes.

Anyway - no sign of a doctor in this surreal ward - in for a long wait I feel. Oh widwife has arrived - signing off.

Past the point of no return

Well today was the day, Penny has gone to bed and I am watching "Apocalypse Now" for the 4th time, "Charlie don't surf" - excellent.

Maybe he will arrive tomorrow, 7 is my lucky number and for some reason the 7th November sounds like a good date. Bonfire night was great last night, spent the evening with the Grassbys watching fizzles and pops on a cold & still night. Anyway signing off.

OK - off topic I know - but Ainsley Harriette really is a c*ck.

Random Video Moments

Over on the right of the screen you will see a Random Video Moment from my life. Hit reload to see another one, there are loads of them and they are tiny in size so don't worry about your bandwidth. Enjoy.

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Waiting for a baby is a bit like...

A RollerCoaster




Waiting for a baby to come is a little like queuing for the world's most terrifying rollercoaster. You are not sure if you even want to join the queue at first, but you find your self drawn toward it even though it scares you. You wait in the queue for 9 months saying "Come on" & "Hurry Up", then it is almost your turn and the fear returns. Was this a good idea? Is this excitement or fear I am feeling? But you can't leave this queue. So you stand and wait for the car to come in, and for the ride to start.

Paternal Feelings

Arrrgh. What is happening to me.. I find myself wandering around mother care at lunchtimes now, going all pathetic over teddy bears & washing mits shaped like cute ducks & octopi! I used to dye my hair red, go to grunge clubs and drink pints of vodka. Ah well, good bye youth - hello middle age - might buy a pipe.

Dubya Wins

I know this is nothing to