Lovely Louise

Louise is lovely - I have only just realised that she reads this blog fairly frequently, this was because Penny told me the reason she call me the other night was out of concern about my blog entitled "Misery". Thanks Lou, it is always great to talk to you and you did cheer me up. Louise is Penny's little sister (pictured above) and I am very happy that she will soon be known as mad aunty Lou, she will be great in her role in our family, I am positive my son will think she is cool. Respect also to her man - Uncle Ali.  

Rested & waiting

Feeling less stressed now, have been having a relaxing weekend with my Dad, problem is that as soon as he arrives he always seems to want to get home, usually due to worry about his cat / house / etc, nothing personal. So he is going home soon, which is a shame. No sign of the baby making an appearence yet, the tension is unbearable. I wanted the kid to arrive while dad was here for reasons mentioned in my previous post. I have taken Monday off to recover from Friday :)

Misery

God I am miserable. Sat in a cold & noisy server room in the middle of London. My head aches, my eyes are dry, my stomach feels like I have drunk drain cleaner and worst of all I am getting a rising feeling anxiety brought on by fatigue. I haven't stopped all day & now I work all night. I know this is affecting my health both mental and physical. I swear this is the last time I am doing this - really. The problem with me is that I am too keen, I am always the first to raise a helping hand, I wouldn't mind but I don't get overtime for all this personal punishment. Usually I can work 24 hours straight and feel OK - but when technical blips start happening that threaten an entire Metropolitan Area Network and the wolves are waiting to bite your ass if you mess up, working alone, tired, feeling like shit, it is then that the familiar leaping heart and sinking stomach indicate that anxiety is setting in. I am trying to stablise my life and get a few credits in the sleep bank so I am fully prepared to enjoy the arrival of my son. Now I feel resentment for being here when I would rather be in bed with my Wife who can't sleep when I am not there... Watching data stream between devices, 34Gb, 35Gb, 36Gb, tick, tock, life wasting away - God I am so miserable.

Dad's Visit

My Dad is coming up this weekend, I am really looking forward to seeing him, he lives a long way away so I don't get much of a chance nowadays.  I will get to show him our new kitchen, bathroom, hall, etc, etc.  That is the great thing about the rising wave of panic a bump creates, you end up going DIY crazy and finishing everything in the house (again largely thanks to Pen's parents).  Penny is wandering around purposefully overexerting herself, I have worked out that she is basically trying to induce labour (she is getting tired now).  It would be great if he decided to come while Dad was here - he always helps me get things in perspective.

Christmas comes but half the year

I remember thinking when I heard about the bump that I can finally really appreicate Christmas at home with my very own family. It is such a wonderful time of year for children and families. BUT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE IT'S OCTOBER!!!! Every shop window has infatable santas half buried in cotton wool snow drifts, stacks of crackers & piles of puddings. Ingenious ways to sink you further into debt, buy now pay later, interest free credit, don't worry about the crippling debt just make sure little johnny gets his portable dvd player and robot dog (I actually have one of these). It has got to a point in the UK where Christmas is marketed for 3 months of the year! Let me say that again - 1/4 of the entire year dedicated to a religious holiday that less that 1% of the population actually give two hoots about. Advertising agents, marketing companies and store managers are in danger of ruining what should be a lovely holiday. I don't want to sound old before my years, but at my current tender age of 29, I can only imagine these issues will irritate me more and more. Let's follow other european examples and outlaw Christmas driven marketing until - let's say - December 1st. Anyway, that said, I am really looking forward to our first family Christmas at home in good old capitalist England.

Nightmare Update

Pen had her appointment - she is fine - baby is fine. Phew.

Nightmares

I had a really horrible dream last night.  Penny has an appointment with the doctors today, I remember when she told me yesterday that my heart leapt - "There's nothing wrong is there" I said, a little white eyed.  "No no, just a standard check-up".  I settled back down on the sofa, but evidently that statement permeated my psyche and led to my nightmare.  It was simple enough, I won't go into huge detail, it basically involved Penny telling me that the doctor had said there might be something wrong with the baby's spine.  I was so upset in the dream that it woke me up numerous times through the night, hence my eyelids are sneakily shutting whenever I am not playing attention.  I know this is normal, I guess that process of bonding has already begun.  When I first heard about "the bump" my immediate concern was; will Penny be OK at the birth.  Now I am just about equally worried about that two of them.  I guess that is the way it is going to be now, intense worry, interspersed with the odd life changing milestone as we watch him develop into our Rest Home fund (only joking Son, you need your cash for flying cars and space trousers) :) Ahh, the circle of life.

Mobile Blogging

This is great - if it worked I sent this post from my mobile! This means I will have something to do when pacing around the maternity wing on the day! Realtime blogging!

Space Invaders Attack!

The finished product - Varying colours from Very dark blue to light blue gives a cool sense of perspective. As you can see from this flash shot, a covering of glitter glaze adds a few sparkles. All I have to do now is the translucent outline with glow paint and hey presto - spooky glowing martians. 

Artists at work killing time

The Artist at work - those are not my feminine hands - but I am helping :) Well, it is one way to kill a Sunday. 

2 Weeks 2 Go

It's like we rounded a corner and stepped out of the standard flow of the space time continuum. 8 Months flowed past like water so WHY HAVE THESE LAST FEW WEEKS LASTED SO LONG. As you can see from my last post, we are killing time drawing space invaders on the basement wall, I ask you, does that sound like the actions of sane people :) Pretty cool though. 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Space Invaders Wall Pattern

This is my basement wall, I have used photoshop to plan out a design I am itching to do on my wall. I plan to paint it up tomorrow. Will try and remember to bung up a picture of the finished product. I have produced stencils that Pen & I made - which I might flog on ebay after I am done with them. 

Step Dad, Mum & Tris

Step Dad, Mum & Tris on the Sofa relaxing 

Dad & Lori

Dad & my Step Mum - sitting at the beach in the camper van 

Belinda & John

Belinda & John - My inlaws after a few drinky poos 

The Race to the Whitehouse

Every blog in the world seems to be talking about the elections. Well (jumping on the bandwagon), I have to say, I hope my faith in humanity is restored and Bush is removed. Based on the previous fiasco, I am surprised the UN hasn't been brought in to ensure the elections are democratic, Hell, if it was some backward east european country they would be in like a shot. So why not the USA. It's one rule for small backward 3rd world countries and another for twitchy global superpowers :) Seriously, no offense to America (who make up 80% of my visitors), but if you can't express your misinformed opinion in a blog where can you do it :) I wonder if the UK will get this kind of press in America when our elections are held next year. Hahahaha.

Pennys Parents

... are bloody fantastic. I feel it is only fair to mention them in this blog as it is easy to take for granted people who are always helping. Penny just told me they have popped down to finish painting the nursery, it is funny, Penny and her parents keep asking me if it is ok!!! That kind of statement just adds to my massive feeling of guilt. Anyway, one thing I have learned is that caring in-laws can be very helpful and I know (by the subtle purchase of a cot) that they plan to continue helping when the kid arrives. I miss having my Parents (and step parents) around to help, unfortunately they all live a long way away so don't have the option, so Penny is very lucky to have them living just around the corner (and so am I). I have no idea if they read this blog but...

Thanks John & Belinda

I am sure I can dig up an amusing photo of them when I get home, watch this space.

Can you kick it?

Yes he can. He kicks ALOT. From looking into it he seems to kick more than the average baby. Most veteran parents look puzzled when Penny talks about the amount of kicking she experiences on a daily (and nightly) basis. The kid once kicked me in the back when I was trying to sleep, quite funny really. The great thing is that he jiggles around like crazy when he hears different types of music. The most popular being good old - They Might be Giants - Penny hates this band, but I love them - Click here for loads of TMBG MP3 goodies. I used to be a bit freaked out feeling him move, but now I love feeling his tiny foot pushed out, it really is a tease, we both can't wait to see if he has all the other bits :D

Long Weekend

So I survived Dan's stag do (see photos below). I had a great time go-karting & quad-biking, dancing and drinking. But at the end of the day I really missed just chilling out at home with Penny, I feel like I have lost a weekend. Now I am back at work, tired out and run off my feet. In the words of the great Danny Glover - "I'm getting too old for this shit" - wise words indeed.

The only thing that happened this weekend that related to the "bump" was my rather strange method of testing prospective names; while in the "gentlemens" club on Saturday I introduced myself to the dancers as Ripley - the reaction was encouraging - "so and are you talented" one lady retorted with a much practised sly smile. Well I suppose it makes for an interesting story for the wedding speech in 20 years time.

Anyway, this post has probably just dropped me down a few pegs in the estimation of my family - sorry :) - that's the problem with being pathologically honest.

Dans Stag Do 2 - Dancing the night away at a comedy club in Nottingham 

Dans Stag Do 1 - Us posing before our quad biking adventure in the woods. Good fun. 

Stag Weekend

My good friend Dan Gilbert is getting married to the lovely Lorraine in a few weeks. This weekend is his stag do. The entire weekend is going to be spent clubbing in Nottingham. I am looking forward to it, but I am nervous. Sod's Law dictates that Penny WILL give birth while I am pissed as a newt, gawping at strippers. I must be getting old, because at this point I would be happy to spend the weekend sitting on the sofa with Penny - feeling the bump wiggle. Oh well. I will keep my chin up, try not to drink too much and (for the sake of Lorriane) try and keep Dan out of trouble. I am sure an amusing photo will follow.

Video Mad

I love to video. Wherever I go in the world you can bet I will be clasping my faithful Sony Camcorder. It has been with me from travelling the death railway in Thailand to the top of the WTC in New York. From the great wall of China to Niagara Falls. So it is a fair assumption that this kid is going to be heavily videoed (not the birth :) )

While I still have time I plan to do a video of Me and Pen, our lives before the arrival & our future plans.

I figure it would be interesting for our family and for our kid in the future. Also he can laugh at our amusing clothing and dated internal combustion engined automobile. It's 2004 for God's sake - Where are the flying cars?

Anyway, I might make a few streaming videos for the interweb. Watch this space.

Feelin' Better

Back at work today. Feeling much better, Pen is OK too. Starting to get really excited about the kid arriving, I get a feeling it might be along sooner rather than later. Don't ask me why. If he is anything like me then he will be keen to meet to people who have been prodding & playing music to him.

My Dad & Coco - My dad is always complaining that I never have photos up of him - this of course is total rubbish as I have loads (I keep them in draws) - so to prove a point here is a photo of him on my weblog - I'm sure he will love the publicity. 

Penny & Me in Cornwall - I love this photo - it was used on the front of our wedding invites and is sufficently vague as I am no oil painting. 

Who reads this blog?

As far as I know the only people who look at this blog are - Auntie Sue, Dad (who thinks this kind of thing is complete b*11ocks), Pen's parents & sister Louise, maybe a couple of friends who have typed Christopher Howarth on T'web, erm, thats about it. Come on people, click the comment button, lets get some feedback :)

Pen says a Cold - I say a Flu

I have been at home yesterday and today, feeling ill as hell. I am glad to spend time with Penny, but I feel really ill and the last thing I want to do it give it to her. She keeps tempting fate by saying that the baby has increased her resilience to bacteria and viruses. I have no idea if that is true, but today she is complaining about a stomach bug. Oh dear. Anyway, I have discovered how to upload photos using Hello (tm) so you can expect a few more photos brightening up the place.

First Scan Photo - taken at week 12 & enhanced by me, for some reason these scans were much better than the ones that were taken later on (22 weeks). At this point we didn't know the sex (but Penny was convinced it was a girl so we decided on Daisy as a name) :) 

Unpaid Overtime

It is getting late, I am lying down on our new carpet in our front room typing this. I am preparing for a LONG night configuring servers for my work - I don't get overtime, but I do get well paid + I get tomorrow at home with my girly :) I know, I know - this is a dad blog; well the bump is active tonight, he is wiggling around like crazy :) Sometimes I wonder if I am bothering him by tickling Penny's bump and talking rubbish - hopefully not. Oh well, not long now - NEXT MONTH as Pen keeps reminding me. Penny is getting sick of being pregant, then feels guilty about moaning, I don't blame her for getting tired, it must be very very hard. Unless I lose some weight I will soon know what it is like to lug a bump around.