Being a father is a wild ride. My name is Christopher & these are my observations, theories & comments on life as the dad of my two boys Ripley & Jayden. I write this to air my thoughts & update my friends & family with photos, videos and such like. For everyone else I offer hints and tips on parenting as I learn them. For legal reasons I make no direct reference to my employer or any of my colleagues.
10 Most Recent Images
on with the show...
most recent posts appear first in the list, then proceeding back in time, check "archives" section on left-hand sidebar for earlier posts
Thursday, November 25, 2004
The "Things They Don't Tell You" List
Here are a list of things I have come across that people really should have warned us about. I will update this list whenever we notice something that we really didn't see coming:
1) Waters - are not always clear, in fact "waters" can look an awful lot like blood.
2) The Birth - BLOOD ! Horror! Gore! Why don't they tell you to expect it?
3) Sleepless Nights - These two words can never really properly express what a sleepless night really means. Tired! Hahaha! Tired is just a word too. Let's see - how about; Mind Numbing, Insanity forming, physically destructive, brain destablising torture or the simple acronym - MNIFPDBDT.
4) Crying - Not just an annoying noise - A sound that drills through to your soul, makes your heart leap up out of your mouth and generally makes you feel panicky. Oh yes - it happens a lot too.
5) Baby Moods - This is how it goes - Crying (Hungry), Crying (Windy), Crying (Wet), Crying (Nappy filled with something from a horror film), Crying (Tired), Crying (Because he is sensing your mood), Sleeping, Sleep Crying, Wide awake and smiling (3am - 5am).
6) Colic - Ripley looks like he is starting to develop mild Colic, this is bad news if sleep is something you like doing. He looks in so much pain, curled up - shaking - crying - rubbing his face with sharp baby nails. It is upsetting in the extreme.
7) Breast Feeding Fascists - "You are breast feeding arn't you?" - NHS Midwifes are fantastic, but all this breast feeding stuff really gets on my nerves. If the kid isn't into it then there is NOTHING you can do about it, that is the way it is. YES we know "Breast is best"! But come on! The most important person in this whole situation is the mother, it is she who must get used to the whole "parent" thing, having the stress of a baby who simply will not breast feed and people milling around telling her to persist can be just too much. For the sake of the mental health of the parents & the happiness of the baby, midwifes should be a little more realistic. Mind you - one midwife was very helpful, she was a parent of 3, some breast fed some didn't, she knew the score. I remember her looking left then right and leaning to Penny whispering - "Don't write this in your notes, but don't worry if breast feeding doesn't work, just give it your best shot". I can tell you this was a real breath of fresh air for us both.
1) Happy Baby - For the moments during the day that your kid is happy smiling and laughing it REALLY gives you a big lift, you almost totally forget the 2 hours of screaming.
2) Ear Plugs - Just worked this out this morning, if you wear ear plugs when the kid is screaming at you - for example; the nappy change before a feed is quite noisy, then the sound is less painful on the eardrums, you can still hear them, it just allows you to keep your concentration.
3) Gadgets - Buy every gadget in the world for the kid - it WILL make your life easier. Already broke from all the prams, cots, clothing, etc - no problem, but it on ebay, sell it when finished, the chances are you will make a few quid along the way. Digital thermometers, movement / sound sensors, video monitors, steam sterilisers, bottle warmers, etc, etc, BUY THEM.
4) Burping - It is amazing how a little burp and cheer you up so much. It takes ages to burp a baby, they are often squirming about and looking mad, when you hear that burp you know that is a little less air making him feel uncomfortable.
5) Google - "Shit is his face suppose to be peeling like that?" Ask Google - "Ah ha! www.peelingbaby.com has an article on this, I can now relax". Babycenter.co.uk is also excellent.